The Good Vibes

I decided I really like my 'things that make me smile' blog, and I want to do it more often. I actually think about the little things that make me smile more. I take the time to appreciate it. Not only that, but YOU, my few blog readers (if there are any) don't have to read all the depressing things going through my head. So, here goes:

1. "Bring Me Down" and "Anything I'm Not" by Lenka (actually... her whole CD)
2. Getting to see Holly!!!
















3. My wonderful Valentine's date with Randy and Amber

















4. My siblings knowing they can call me for ANYTHING
5. Amber's silly faces while taking pictures















6. My hair cut...thank you Mama















7. Going to La Vigna on Valentine's Day with my parents, G-ma, Aunt, Uncle, and some cousins
8. The fact I am now in a physical state where I can wrestle again
9. My car has not broken lately
10. My best friend since I was three, Erin Hair, is getting married and I'm a bridesmaid!!!

. : * Roll with the punches* : .

So I'm really not surprised by what happens in my life anymore. I really wouldn't be surprised if somehow the CIA showed up at my door and arrested me for being a suspect in a terrorist plot. Would I be? No. Would I be surprised they thought so? No. Why? Because that would just be something that happened to me. I probably wouldn't even get incredibly upset at this point either. I'd probably be totally calm in the situation too. In fact, as I made my one phone call to my parents, I'd probably start laughing when I told them what happened. It's just something that would happen to me.
Now, people have told me to stop saying things like that, otherwise things will keep happening, but really, I don't think like that. It's just when things happen that I think that way. I am a positive person, determined to move on with life (for the most part) and make the most of it, but things just happen to me.
For instance, I thought I had this FABULOUS nanny job. Turned out to be a scam. I had given the people my account number to wire my wages directly into my checking account. Well, yesterday I found out they somehow got into the Wells Fargo database, took out two forms of ID in my name, got my signature, and more than likely got my SSN. Well, with that info they went into the branch I actually opened the account at and used those two forms of ID , signed a withdrawl slip in front of the teller with MY signature they saw on my account, and withdrew all of the money from the account. Needless to say I had to file a claim with the bank, put myself on fraud alert, and file a police report.
Fun day for me! Was I angry? Yes. Was I surprised? No, not really. Since it was a scam in the first place, why not have people steal my identity too? It would just happen to me.
Roll with the punches people...you just have to roll with the punches and hope you get one in every once in awhile.

. : things that make me smile : .

Ok, so I'm trying to be more positive. Definitely trying to be more positive. Not working so well sometimes. So here is a list of things that make me smile right now:

1. Pictures of Kathryne
2. Daniel jabbering...he's hilarious
3. My friend Logan's CD NOW ON iTUNES
4. Finding the bastard's who stole my money and possibly identity
5. Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist Soundtrack
6. Mike coming to visit next weeked
7. Reggae music
8. Tanning (as unethical as it is for my profession, I love it)
9. Trio (it's a FABULOUS restaurant in Salt Lake)
10. My little sister being SO in love
11. The way Myspace does their music playlists
12. The Boondock Saints (definitely not recommend it for small children)
13. Planet Earth (some of the best memories I've ever had)
14. Lost
15. The corner of 6th and 7th

Some Good Times

So, I figured I'd post some photos from the past couple of months..
This is New Years with Lepa and Jessica














This is Chris and I goofing off















Sarah helping mend my broken heart...


































Heather and I went out with some of our girlies dancing...it was a GREAT night!

My roommate Amy and I went out dancing quite a bit! It's always way fun to be around her.

And then Amber and Randy took me to a few concerts up at Harry O's in Park City. This one is at the Natural Roots

Never Think...

I think I am doomed to be a sparatic blogger, but it's ok. I feel like since my last post I've gone on a downward spiral. Everything was wonderful last time I blogged. Well...it all seemed like things were falling into place. New job didn't work out quite as well as I hoped it would, so currently looking for a new one. I did move to Salt Lake, which is wonderful to have my own space. I have honestly tried to have the best time I can. There has been a looming sadness since Christmas though. Spending holidays without Kathryne and Jeff makes me think of how things could have been. If only we'd been ready for our little girl. Now, I try not to regret the decision we made, but sometimes - a lot of the time, it's really difficult.

I got to see Kathryne for the first time the last week in January. She's beautiful. I saw her and felt peace once again with what I the decision Jeff and I made. She's in the right place. Very happy and healthy. It does bum me out way bad that I can't be her family though, that constantly nags at me.

On a more positive note, I am taking little steps forward every day. Putting the past in the past isn't easy by any means, but I'm working on it. Making a list of small little goals kind of keeps me going. I have my bad days, where all I want to do is stay in bed, so I do. I decided I need those moments to myself, as long as it's not one long moment, like for the rest of my life moment.

Getting back on the horse called life is a constant struggle for me. I am so grateful for the incredible support of my family durring this difficult time. I'm snappy, emotional, grouchy, unpredictable, and trying to get my life back together. Sometimes it's just how the pieces fit that confuse me.

I never think I will be the same again. My life is changed forever. Normalcy will never return because my sense of normalcy will never be the same again. I have to adjust to a new normalcy that I'm not comfortable with or ready to accept as normalcy.